I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
