when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
