You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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