is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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