nut hugger
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
