I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
