so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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