Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Too much gin, very little bucket
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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