Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
