This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
