Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
