my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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