I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
