Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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