I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
organizing the empties. That sober.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
