So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
