I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he shaved USA in his pubs
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
