Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
