dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
