1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
