The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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