Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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