guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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