Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
