just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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