my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
