We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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