You really coming over, don't trick.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
