I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
