Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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