so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
