M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
