Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
