Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
