just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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