why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
