Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
smell my finger.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
