how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
