In America we eat man semen.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
