dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
