She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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