hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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