I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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