I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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