I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
