Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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