it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
