Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
