So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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