No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
